Roderick D. Tamney
Humanist Officiant /
Chaplain

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Funerals

THE DESIRE FOR CEREMONY

We know that throughout history, and indeed pre-history, ceremonies have been used to mark important events in people’s lives, and a formal occasion can be particularly helpful in the early days of bereavement. The public expression and sharing of grief are widely considered an important part of recovery after the death of someone close and the opportunity for this shared grieving is provided by the various world religions according to their own rites. But it can be distressing and even distasteful for those present if a religious service is held for someone who had no religious belief.

HUMANIST CEREMONIES

In our increasingly secular society, where for example more than half of all weddings no longer take place in a church, the demand for non-religious funerals is ever on the increase.

Our ceremonies are by their very nature personal celebrations of an individual’s life. To commercialize and standardize these ceremonies would be to destroy those very features that make them so sensitive, so genuine and so much appreciated.

--Jane Wynne Willson
British Humanist Association

RESPECT FOR ALL FAITHS

As humanists, we recognize that our stance and philosophy is not shared by others. In recognition of this, we will respect and treat with integrity any expression of religious faith a family member or close friend may want included in the memorial.

A PERSONAL CEREMONY

A personal visit with the family or friends allows the Humanist Chaplain to gain an appreciation of what the deceased person was like so as to better present an accurate and sensitive picture of them at the ceremony.

MEMORIAL QUESTIONAIRE

  • Name of deceased and possible nickname

  • Date of birth

  • Marriage or partnership

  • Cause of death and related information

  • Children and step children (foster?)

  • Spouses of the children

  • Grandchildren and Step grandchildren

  • Parents

  • Siblings

  • Parents in law

  • Brothers/Sisters-in-law

  • Special relatives

  • Friends/Special colleagues

  • Special friends

  • Education

  • Occupation/employer

  • Armed Forces/Active Service

  • Awards/Special Recognition

  • Hobbies

  • Special interests i.e. Amnesty International/Lions Club etc.

  • Offices held in Union/Political Party/Service Organization

  • Favourite TV Programs

  • Favourite Music

  • Books

  • Singers

  • Instrumentalists

  • Authors

  • Books

  • Sayings

  • Community involvement

  • What made him/her special?

  • What do you remember the most?

  • Who else can I talk to?

  • Who would like to speak at the funeral/memorial?

  • Candles/Pictures

  • Music at the Ceremony

  • Religious background of the family

  • Estimated size of people in attendance. Address of Funeral Chapel/Hall/Home

  • What happens after?

  • Coffee and Sandwiches?

  • Announcements to be made?

  • Childhood

  • Places lived.

  • Anecdotes

  • Philosophy of life

  • Anything else you would like to share?